Have you noticed how some people love to give advice? Some just say it. Others disguise it. They write a lengthy, scholarly article, book or paper. Usually, you’re considered intelligent if you give advice. It doesn’t necessarily have to be good advice. A lot of bad advice gets published.
What is it about giving advice that makes us want to dispense it? There must be some reward in it for us, whether people take it or not. My father never gave me much advice when I was growing up. Sure, he said change the oil in the car. Take a bath every once in a while, but not the important philosophical truisms that you can live your life by. I guess he thought experience was the best teacher. Although later in life, perhaps in his 80’s, he
tried to dispense some wisdom. Problem was, by then I had already made most of the mistakes he thought he was saving me from. The “strong, silent types” will say their lives are their teaching tool. I was always afraid for them because I don’t see many people paying attention! So, like my father I’ve chosen not to give much advice. I really don’t need to. I’m married and that’s being taken care of! (Thanks, Jean)
I’m not saying you shouldn’t give advice. A big reason I came to Thailand was to give advice. My kids left home years ago and I’ve been married 30 years so I didn’t really have anyone to give advice to there. I thought the Thais might want some of the wisdom we Americans have accumulated because of our great economic success. After nine months, other than wanting to learn English, I haven’t found a single Thai looking for advice. What I discovered was, they think they know it all too! Then, last Sunday, my opportunity, my big break you might say, presented itself. It was a white person, but at this point I am not going to be choosy. I was sitting alone, minding my own business, which is very American, and a young white man approached me. After hearing his question I knew I had prepared well. I told him the bathroom was down the stairs and to the left. Sigh! When giving advice it’s probably better to start out small anyway. I did feel important. After all, knowing where the bathroom is located is very important in Thailand! I bet some of you are saying, “That’s not advice, that’s directions.” Well, that’s easy for you to say, you’re not in Thailand trying to find someone who wants advice. I don’t want you to think I’m discouraged, because I’m not. I know it’s going to take time for someone to ask me the answer to the bigger questions in life. I hope I’m as prepared to answer those questions as I was with “advice” on the direction of the bathroom. Life can be so simple sometimes.
Gary
