by Jean
A few people have asked me this question and I’ve been slow to answer it. The best I could come up with has been “sometimes”. Seeking something I like hasn’t been my frame of reference or purpose in going to teach in Thailand. What I do want to do is please God, to glorify Him, and accomplish His purpose in the world. My role in this, at the school, is to educate my students in English, and support their Christian growth, so that they might become influential Christians in Thai society.
Doing this involves a certain amount of struggle, and I do think about whether the struggle will wear me out. I get tired of struggling with the students to keep on learning and not goof off. Sometimes they get excited about learning, but it is very hard to keep them there all the time. Also, there are the many requests from Thai people to teach them English and requests from the school staff to undertake more than we can get done. Those are things I have to choose among wisely and politely resist when I need to. The language barrier and that the English staff is all volunteer sometimes results in surprise changes to my schedule that raise additional difficulties. There is also the sadness of being far from my family in the US and having fewer chances to see my children and grandchildren.
Does that mean I should go do something else? Where would we be if Paul had done that? He said, near the end of his life, that he had fought the good fight (I Timothy 4:7). He had finished the race. That doesn’t sound like he turned around when the going got tough. When I run a hard race, maybe I will walk a little if I have to, but I keep going in the same direction. In 2 Corinthians 11:25 he said he was beaten with rods three times and stoned (and that’s not stoned to take the edge off the beating). I’m pretty sure he didn’t like those things, yet he kept at what the Lord had told him to do. This reminds me of 2 Corinthians 4:16-18.
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (NIV)
When I think about some of our friends who have health issues that are debilitating them or the 20 year old who has cancer, I can only consider the difficulties here as momentary and light. The Lord has blessed us with health enough to handle the heat and ride around on a motor scooter. Even the giant cockroach appearing on the wall in the middle of my shower is small by comparison. God has given us a good Thai friend in a housekeeper that watches out for us out greatly. We have found food that is good to eat and good for us. We’ve been able to live in a nice, airy house. He has provided good tools for teaching, especially with the document camera and the projector.
He provides blessings along the way to keep the struggle from being overwhelming. I was very encouraged to see the improved scores of the 6th graders on the national test from this past year. I rejoiced to hear that all three 6th grade graduates from BSF passed the test to get into the college preparatory school for 7th and up. I am thankful that the Lord is using what I am doing and had given me the opportunity to use my life in this way. “My life poured out” was a motto of some missionaries I knew. I am making it mine too. My goal is as Erma Bombeck said, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.’”
:J
