Making Friends

"In Thai we don't "make" friends," Tuk told me last week. Instead she had me write, in Thai, "I am a friend of a cute dog." I wanted to say I made friends with the dog because I had to move carefully to gain his friendly response. Either they consider everyone as a friend or think friendship is something that just happens, or not, without any effort.

They are certainly friendly people. Mrs. Janooan has spent a lot of time talking to me and helping me with my Thai and other things. She often holds my hand when we are talking or she is taking me somewhere. Saturday she invited me in for lunch. Although I had already eaten, she insisted I join her and her daughter anyway. She brought out a separate bowl of what she and her daughter were eating, this one without the hot spice in it. I ate a little of that because of her effort. She gave me a little from their bowl and I thought it was hot even though she said it wasn't. They helped me with my Thai as we talked about our activities.

Last Thursday, for the second time, I went to the free aerobics class put on in the Lotus department store parking lot. A lady there took a friendly step toward me, but hesitated until I stepped toward her and said, "Saw wat dit, ka" (the Thai greeting). Then we started talking in bits of English and Thai over the loud music. Before long she took hold of my hand too. She invited me to come stand next to her up front, but I declined, holding my hands over my ears. Afterwards she introduced me to one of her friends.

Today at the park, we walked up behind a young lady sitting on one of the benches under a covered area (sala) over a pool. We began to discuss with her the swarm of fish in the shady water in front of us. As soon as she could tell we were going to stay awhile, she moved her things over so I could sit next to her even though the next bench was empty. I accepted her invitation. I offered to get up when her friend came back, but she said no. The three of us talked and the first lady held my hand briefly too.

We talked about the big cat fish that showed up, where we were from, how long we had been in Thailand, her lottery ticket sales, and similar things. Finally I asked if I could take their picture. They let me, and then wanted to take turns taking a picture of me with each of them. Then the first young lady wanted a picture of me and each of them taken with her camera. As I began to leave, she showed me pictures of her two daughters and one son on her camera.

They have been friendly even in our brief encounters on the song taus. A lady I started a conversation with one day asked where we were going early in the conversation. She helped me with some Thai words while looking out for our destination during the ride. One of two of the song tau drivers, (we are not sure if it was the same one both times), on the route we usually take has slowed down to wait for us before we were ready to signal for a ride. Once we were coming down the stairs of the pedestrian overpass and, the other time, turning a corner further up the road than where we usually are. That could also be because they are hoping for the fare and we are easier to remember than the other people there.

:J