Repacking

50 lbs?! We weighed our largest suitcase after a trial packing on Saturday and it weighed 61 lbs. Korean Air, our carrier to Thailand, allows only 50 per suitcase. I used the scale to weigh things as I took them out of the case, hoping to get past 11 lbs at least. Since I had to fill the space again, the amount I took out had to be more than the 11 lbs. After a couple of repackings and reweighings, it became clear that the books were going to have to go in the carry on sized checked bag and clothes and other light things were going to have to go in the big suitcase. More things would be staying as well. Now I know my clarinet will be staying. I did get a recorder in, though. Do I want to take my Amplified Bible (heavy) or a book on how to make kites and a couple of children's books? The Bible won. I think I will need that more.

Things continue to turn up around the house that I once thought we would take. Gary told me some things could go in his medium sized suitcase. As he packs the case, though, he is starting to qualify that promise. It is back to priorities again, both in making the time to pack and in choosing what goes. I am thankful for the prayer support we have as we make these choices. With that, I am more certain that what we end up with will be what we need. Of course, He has promised to go with us (Matthew 28:20) and with Him we do have all we need.

:J

I've come to another kind of packing away this week; this time upon conviction from a passage by C. S. Lewis. It came up in the daily reading for August 31 and it took about a week to strike home. He talks about forgiving others, not just excusing them, which sometimes we take for forgiving. He is discussing people trying to forgive by thinking out a way the person really didn't do the bad thing they want to forgive them for. When they can't quite make those excuses, "They keep on replying, 'But I tell you the man broke a most solemn promise.' Exactly: that is precisely what you have to forgive. (This doesn't mean that you must necessarily believe his next promise. It does mean that you must make every effort to kill every taste of resentment in your own heart--every wish to humiliate or hurt him or to pay him out.)"

As C. S. Lewis has done before, he has gotten to the heart of my behavior. Most of the time I have tried to forgive by finding excuses for what someone has done to me rather than forgive the central hurtful action. Also I have found myself wanting to "get back" at people and waiting to have revenge when something doesn't work out right for someone else's plan. I've been hoping that they will see that they shouldn't have pushed my ideas out of the way to start with.

So, this week I realized I have packed away some resentment. I have had to let go of those desires to be proved right and my efforts to do so. I also have become aware of my need to forgive right away after an event rather than dwelling on it for awhile. The only dwelling I should do is on figuring out a boundary to keep me from letting the same person do the same thing to me again. Realizing this is easier than accomplishing it. At least God can help me move in the right direction from here as I pray and you pray for God to do so.

( The C. S. Lewis passage quoted in my devotional is "On Forgiveness" from The Weight of Glory)